How I’m going to spend my days

Life swirls around. So much is going on in the world at any given minute. We’ve all heard the statistics that sound something like this “Every minute ______ happens.” or “X people do this thing every second.” I mean, I get it, a lot is going on.

You just have to look at my kids to know that shit is happening all the time. They never stop unless they are sleep.

It’s really easy to get overwhelmed by all the things you should or shouldn’t do. The lesson I keep having to learn is to let go of all those things that don’t serve me and my family and keep the things that do. Kids are especially adaptable and if I do things that help me it helps everyone.

I’m learning that not everything has to be made from scratch. I’m learning that a clean house is great but unrealistic unless the kids are strictly sitting and watching TV 24hrs a day. I’m learning that TV and screen time is fine because my sanity is worth that little extra bit of screen time.

I’m learning to say “screw you” to the overwhelming list of “shoulds” the internet and my brain try to put on me.

Instead, I’m going to be spending my days taking care of myself. I have 3 small humans who need me, 2 animals who can’t feed themselves and a husband who deserves a wife who takes care of herself.

This week that looks like making meals for myself and not apologizing for taking the time to eat them in peace even if it means my kids are a little rowdy in the other room. It looks like reading a novel and bingeing a podcast. It looks like making the effort to go to the park because we all benefit from the sun and wind on our faces. It looks like enjoying my kids despite the mess (screw the mess, it will be there later) and enjoying myself.

This is how I want to spend my days. Each day has it’s own troubles that need addressing but I don’t need to borrow trouble by taking on someone else’s ideas of what makes a good life.

What today feels like

We’ve done things differently throughout our marriage. We’ve never been afraid of job security that has been less than ideal. We’ve always managed to keep the lights on despite rocky financial circumstances. In fact, we’ve never been conventionally secure ever.

Last night we had a “budget talk.” That oh-so-fun real talk where everything is laid bare. Shame starts to creep in about all the Macdonald’s I’ve eaten lately, and every unnecessary trip to Starbucks.

But I am getting better about just taking a deep breath and effing stepping up.

So today the veil of ambiguity has been lifted and I actually feel inspired. The fog of depression that often accompanies ambiguity (for me at least) has also lifted and the actual sun is shining today.

I’m showered and the dishes are run through. The dirty laundry that was finding its way all over the house has been gathered and is taking turns through the machines. I’m drinking water and taking vitamins. Children and animals are fed and clean. These are the basics of life and yet these so easily bog down and overwhelm.

Today I get another chance to try again. I get to remember that I am a person too and my needs are important. Today I’ll remember that my babies are people with feeling and not just inconveniences and I will snuggle them and help them learn something.

Today, despite my reigned in spending, I will remember to be grateful and be reminded that I get a choice in how our money is spent and in how I feel about it.

Today is feelling pretty good.

Dig In – 2017

This year, 2017, my husband and I chose an intention for the year as opposed to the traditional New Year’s Resolution. We chose the words “Dig In.”

For us, that meant pushing into the hard things of life. We had just started our property management business and it needed to grow in order to be able to do it full time without a supplementary income. So we dug into marketing and promotion whole hog. We committed to having tenants in our house so we could keep our cost of living down. We invested in office space and gave up parking spaces so we could afford to grow the business.

When hardships and trials threatened to shutter our doors we pushed even harder to make deadlines and complete what was asked of us.

We completed a Whole 30 as a commitment to our health and loved it. (Need to do it again, but that’s another story.)

Even in the little things, like doing stuff around the house, when it felt hard but needed doing we kept saying to ourselves “DIG IN.”

Having such a clear intention all year, written in big white letters up on our chalkboard wall as a reminder, was such a great experience. We learned so much about ourselves and our ability to grow and flourish despite hardship.

The real miracle has been what has blossomed in our life that I believe has been a direct result of that commitment to “Dig In.” We have more financial stability than we’ve ever had before. We have earned flexibility and authority over our own schedule.

So the next thing – what will 2018’s intention be? How will that shape Jamie and Felicia Buhler’s lives and family?

One thing is for certain, we will take what we’ve learned in 2017 and carry it with us into 2018 whatever the future holds.

Stay tuned for more on what 2018 will look like!

Ode to Coffee

Sometimes coffee is a lifeline.

Get out of bed early despite the warmth of those soft sheets…start the coffee.

Sit in your chair contemplating the day…sip some coffee.

Look at the chaos that is your house and begin to formulate your plan to tackle it…drinking coffee.

You tripped over the dog’s toy on the floor and banged your knees really good…pour another cup of coffee.

Forget to shower before the kids get up and remember that you are actually leaving the house today…put on a hat and down that coffee.

Run errands with two whiny toddlers…turn on Barney on the van’s DVD player (so glad we splurged on this addon) and stop at Starbucks for a pumpkin spice latte.

Finish your errands, come home and put the kids down for a nap, let the dog out and make the Kuerig earn its keep…afternoon coffee.

Don’t forget to stay hydrated…have a glass of water then switch back to coffee 😉

It’s taken a long time to get to this point…

This blog has been “live” for a couple of months now. I paid the money, got the domain, wrote a post…and left it for a couple of months. I’m “mostly” back in the saddle now. It is really hard to get all these little ducks to get in a row! Any blog post/Pinterest click-bait that says “START A BLOG EASY IN 3 STEP AND MAKE MILLIONS” is a blatant liar. It is HARD!

There is a special discipline to working on something that you may or may not make money at. It’s probably going to cost you a lot more. Maybe, in the long run, there are benefits but to start it’s going to cost, time and money.

Dreams are free but I know that this blogging endeavour is more for my soul than it is for my finances. I haven’t taken any of those courses (of which there are thousands) that promise to make you a writer or have millions of readers. I’m here to learn and practice. Lord, lead me in the way I should go because I’m not sure where I am going with any of this at this point. This blog post is probably three paragraphs too long already and has no point.

I promise to be real on here and maybe that won’t always make sense but the truth doesn’t always make sense. How’s that for a platitude?

I hope this gets better. Follow along to see what happens next!

Love,

felicia

When you want to scream…

My 2.5-year-old son is in a screaming season. This sweet child of mine (which he really is most of the time) can scream in such a way that certainly he must raise the dead. It is the most high pitched, screechy, loud, bloodcurdling scream I have ever heard. He’s always been a little boy with big emotions and lately, it seems that they are bigger than ever.

It’s a growing season. May is finally warming up in cold Canada. I’ve planted tomatoes, lettuce, herbs and pansies Continue reading “When you want to scream…”